auntie tuding

i was at the shuttle bus last night going to the mrt, braving the evening traffic when i received a text message from auntie tuding asking me how i was doing. she was the only relative aside from ate i told of the ugly sick pig. she knew of the story that i had to endure for a year, before i finally said enough and began the process of moving on. as the highest official in our little hierarchy told us in one of the weekly flag ceremonies we had, at the beginning of the year, - life is too short. it took me nine long months to finally let go of hate and start embracing the fact that it happened, and i just have to charge it to experience.

i told her i'm finally moving on. she replied it was a good decision on my part, and added, "wag ka nang makikipag-away ha".

then just with those words, everything had to come back rushing, everything i endured. but then i had to stop myself from getting agitated, because i remembered that auntie tuding endured, and is still enduring much. i asked her how she was doing with her battle. she told me that she's ok so far, "ok pa naman sa kalusugan at sa isip", adding as an afterthought perhaps, "pangit na ang ante mo"..

i can't help but feel sad for what fate has dealt on her. then i remembered it was her birthday last september 11, and i haven't even greeted her. so i greeted her a belated happy birthday, and said sorry for not able to do so on her very day.

but i haven't really forgotten. in fact during that very day, i intended to greet her. but i could not bring myself to say "happy birthday", when i know the big C is lunching with her, eating her cake, enjoying her balloons.