how bout a poem for a season ender?

thus ends another season of the green backseat.

here's a poem i managed to thumb with the help of my trusty celfone yesterday, at the bus going back to Manila. the passenger in front of me slept all throughout the travel, reclining her seat to the maximum so i couldn't bring gael out to jot my thoughts. my imagination was so fertile yesterday that i was feverish--unable to stop til i get the words right; and i did, i think.

the title is love at first prick.

go figure. hehehe.

and she laughs—
sickly and sweet;
saunters silkenly,
holy down your highway;
tears up her skirt,
cracks up a dance;
to taunt and to tease—
tear you out your wits

oh she crackles—
and you crack;
bones break,
burning and barking
boiling your brain a soft
gooey goo –
flushable, edible
straight down the loo.

and she sings—
close your eyes,
hear her sing;
lull you sick,
lull you sweet;
loose your marbles
bit by bit

and she laughs—
hoarse as a whore’s,
wild as a child’s;
close your eyes,
close your eyes;
swirl round and round
her rasping, lilting
hurtling lullabye

can you spell grr in five letters?


kainis. may magjowang nauna sa akin sa sakayan ng tricycle, and i had to wait for frigin five minutes more before deciding to walk home na lang kasi wala nang dumarating na tricycle sa pilahan. five minutes lang naman na walking distance ang bahay ko (well, yung nirerent ko) from boni--that is if you're walking like cops are chasing after you; mala-walkathon ba.. walk to death for 250 meters. ganon. meron namang mga tricycle actually. di nga lang sila umaabot sa kinatatayuan ko. lumiliko na sila kaagad mga sampung hakbang lang from where i was standing. ano ba, di ba nila ako nakikita? dun sa tinayuan ko naman ang tamang antayan, i'm so sure of it. sang taon na din naman ako dito. at mukha pa silang mga nagmamadali lahat. dinaan-daanan lang ako, potah. at lalo lang ang inis ko when i'm in my last stretch toward the home run (home run talaga!) nang magsulputan silang lahat sa tabi ko nang sunod sunod. heto ako naglalakad, nagmamadali para makuha sa bahay yung ipapalaba ko sa laundry shop bago ako mapagsarhan for the night--at kumakain ng alikabok nyo. cough, cough. shempre dapat soshal pa din sa pag-ubo.

naka-abot naman sa laundry shop. after much trouble. thats trouble spelled in all capital letters--TROUBLE. Potah talaga.


oh the flare!

Question : What do vain people with camera celfones do with their idle time? Gosh, is that even a question? Take self-pictures of course! Hehehe. after four years of unabashed posing, be it at work or the bus, or the restaurant—to the horror of uhm, mortified onlookers, i have managed to accumulate almost 200 worth of these cute and priceless gentle pictures, haha! I haven’t really given much thought of transferring these to gael or to other devices, but since the ongoing trend during the past week until now is transferring pictures, well i guess it’s high time that my camera pictures receive an equal treatment as with my other picture files, and get transferred to much secured storage devices as well. Whew. Four years. looking at these many gentles, i’ve noticed one thing : iisa lang ang anggulo ko! hehehe. and that is the slightly upturned face, revealing my sexy neck and moderately angular jaw. And of course—my flaring nosetrils! Hehehe. syempre, nagkakatalo lang sa overall mood kung nakasimangot ako or super ngiti. For documentary purposes, having accomplished this momentous task four years in the making, i will upload—not 200 of them—but a few that passed quality control. And for my dear gentle readers who suddenly feel nauseated by all these, you’re welcome to throw up in the privacy of your respective CRs. Hehehe. Trip-trip lang. ;)

hmm. i think that with this entry and the previous ones, the backseat might already be fast evolving into a photoblog! well. that remains to be seen in the coming season. ;)



i spent the whole day with my camera. i went home to the province this morning, holding my camera--in the mrt, the bus. i took snapshots of people and terminals.. and stuff;

and then my battery went dead.

note to self : must buy extra battery... uhm. i might need to buy a longer zoom lens too--i seem to fancy photographing people doing their stuff; and i'm havin a hard time, doing it with my itty-bitty lens. hehehe. when i got home this afternoon, i charged my battery right away, for me to take some more pictures.. clicking all the way til the light won't permit me to click anymore. i took a snapshot of my mom.. and then some flowers.

i'm going to manaoag tomorrow to pray for my operation, and to have my camera blessed too. and yes, to take pictures. :)


manong joe and mikee's mom

Manong Joe was just across the corridor, consulting with his doctor; outside, a female staff, a driver and two bodyguards were patiently waiting for him to come out. Mikee’s mom, Tingting, in a gold and black ensemble, was strutting her stuff along the corridor as I was waiting for Medicard’s approval of the three tests I was supposed to undergo prior to the operation, and the operation itself. Three hours at the Makati Med just for all these stuff. I fear. Like all people about to undergo an operation, I fear all there is to fear. i close my eyes, trying to remember the confidence in my doctor’s voice as we were talking about my decision to have it finally removed. I close my eyes, trying to picture all these rich, politically-powerful people, entrusting themselves to this same hospital, this same team of doctors my health card privilege affords me to consult with—and I am somehow comforted.

9 days to go


the caramoan picture storybook

a scene from the window seat, going to camarines sur

the inland waterway going out to sea is teeming with lush vegetation, mostly nipa and bakawan

caramoan town proper at 6:30 in the morning. this is already the busiest part of town; so "busy" that most people here know each other by name

this was the modified tricycle we rode during the two days worth of sight-seeing

an interesting old house we found by the roadside, on our way to the "stairs"

the stairs - 537 heart-thumping steps all in all, led us to

this breath taking view

one of the clearest waters i ever saw. clearer than that of boracay's; little fishes kept playing by my feet the entire time we were on this island

our tour's last stop - this island held many fun corners that i discovered one by one with my camera

like this one, straight out of a tourist's brochure

and this magical spot: the sunlight falling on the water's surface is glorious

before leaving the caramoan port on our last day, we were treated to an unexpected and very welcome "extra" - a peek at the mayon volcano; majestic from a distance


counting down to caramoan

four days to go to caramoan.

excited for the next big pose.


the checklist

Member data record, check.
Form 1, check.
Certification of member contribution, check.

I remember doing this exact procedure—going from one office to the next, obtaining the required documentation and signatures, around july of last year when I elected to have a newly discovered tendon cyst surgically removed at the Makati Med. The process I underwent involved punching two holes around my wrist and pressing on it hard, forcing the gel-like cyst out from its receptacle. It was done by way of local anesthesia, and was finished in a matter of five minutes. In a matter of one month, the mound that was flattened, grew back to its original size. It’s been more than a year already, and once again, prompted by cancer-scare brought about by the recent turnouts of cancer cases in the family, I once again go under the knife. Only this time, the doctor, who is an orthopedic surgeon, suggested that I go to sleep because local anesthesia might not entirely cover the pain once the procedure begins. Natatakot ako. Di pa nga ako nadedextrose sa tanang buhay ko, ngayon kelangan kong matulog for an operation? Pano kung di na ako magising? Masakit ba ang tusok ng karayom, going through your veins? I have to accomplish this major task before the year ends. Ayoko nang palaging may iniisip. But before that, I’ve one more major outing with the guys this coming November 13 at Caramoan, in CamSur. I know, it’s gonna be hard on my part, trying to condition myself to enjoy an outing knowing that I have to take care of serious business once I get back to the metro. But I’m not Gentle for nothing. Pleasure has always been my province. But pain? Uhm…



in keeping with the pyesta ng patay fever, i'm reposting this poem which originally appeared at naked scribbles. enjoy!

the birds
have fallen
I cannot tell
the time of day

the shadows
playing by
my bedside bemoan
the passing
of May

you look
at me pallid
and shrunken
from across
your pillow

never thought
these curtains
could ever turn
this rotten
this yellow

the garden lies
the fountain, dry
the gates rust
the leaves sigh

my breath heaves
gazing out the window
the sky is ashen
like your urn is
ashen, too

i look
at you pallid
and shrunken
from across
my pillow

you’re always silent
as the birds are silent
these days--
tenderly, unflinchingly
your eyes held me lovingly

yes, yes
it is time


ang outing ni nanay

ang saya-saya!