thank you des

des, friend,

i thank you for the happy, wacky memories. the road to realizing our dreams could have been one tough ride but we had fun, hadn't we? crazy, funny, smart little lady with chinky eyes and a welcoming smile.

you knew then it was kinda big and looming. you just had the sense not to frighten us. or maybe cleng realized already being the matured person that she always is. and it was only me on my side of the fence. clueless, autistic me.

remember that afternoon walk we had, crossing the sunken garden, going to NIGS? you jokingly asked me if i could be a sperm donor should you need one. and i jokingly said yes. well that was all before you met buboy and went even crazier than the crazy lady you already were. that was before we took the board exam and went to top with flying colors. remember that little conversation we had with ronald, that one saturday, again at the sunken garden? hehehe. it all came true. freaked me out, but it did came true ;)

of course after that, we all got a little busy trying to mend our own little lives and careers. we kept in touch but somehow along the way, distance made us drift further apart... my seatmate, lunchmate, brothers' burger comrade... i missed you.

when i learned the news, i immediately wanted to see you.. but you didn't want pity. you played it tough and said you were doing ok already; and that you're already readying yourself to go back to teaching in our beloved college. courageous words. or did you secretly hate me for not being there? i loathe myself for not being there when you have needed an extra shoulder to lean on. cleng will surely kill me had she known. futile efforts from an inconsistent friend. will you ever forgive me?

you left us grieving on the second day of the new year.

i love you des. i will always think of you. rest now, my friend.