season four pilot | episode one : chubby fingers

It’s been five days since my surgery at the Makati med. My left hand and fingers are back to their normal size once again. Finally i can type this one, which has been germinating in my mind and accumulating in details ever since the anaesthesiologist woke me up at the operating room, without so much as wincing in pain whenever i try doing it in my normal pace. When i say the word bloat, can you picture my right hand with its bony fingers placed side by side with my left, which has never been anything but chubby and bursting with mysterious fluids during the first three days post-operation? If you can, well and good, coz that’s not the end to it. Picture my bloated left hand’s knuckles slowly turning purple; the purplish hue seeming to crawl up, toward my fingertips. And if you have an overactive imagination like the one i have, you might probably be thinking the same thing i’ve been thinking, prior to the follow-up consultation i had with my doctor yesterday, wherein he vanquished all those negative thoughts down the drain, to the last savory drop—that no, i’m not dying; that if the purplish hue reaches my fingertips my fingers will not start falling off like wilted leaves from the main stem, leaving me with a super productive stump for a hand—i just need to flex my fingers so that blood will circulate healthily through them, and that’s what i’ve been doing. This entry is exercise for my fingers, hehehe.

Going back to the moment i woke up—i’ve no words but thank yous, to the medical staff who assisted in the operation; to Casle, my nurse who saw to my needs during the operation, to the motherly anaesthesiologist who never left my side way until i’m out of that super deep sleep—if you ask me now, that was one freaky, creepy sleep. It felt good. I was havin good dreams. It wasn’t a flat sleep with no dreams but a busy one (though i couldn’t remember any of the details anymore), but its also something i don’t have control over. It could have gone on forever, with me rolling from one dream to the next, and never waking up at all. And so just imagine the relief slowly creeping up my being when i did wake up, realizing where i was, with my left hand and wrist bandaged neatly on my side.

I’ve so much to be thankful for! My friends and relatives who kept me strong with their text messages. I kept reading a long list of you-can-do-it messages days before the actual procedure just to have the proper mindset, hehehe. Thanks to the bulldog, shattershards, eyvicat, scheez, geek, grems, ryan, ada, and mar for those encouraging text messages. To my online blogmate-well wishers, i appreciate the comments you’ve been leaving on the various entries i wrote relating to the dreaded surgical operation. Special thank you goes to my cousin Melvin, who tended to the wound because i’m too scared to even remove the bandage and look at it. I got four stitches, hehehe! It really pays to have a nurse for a cousin, huh. And yes, the last one goes to my family who supported me throughout all of this, with Ate even taking a leave from her work to accompany me on the day of my surgery.

Love you all. Pag may nakalimutang banggitin sana huwag magtampo.